The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
