She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
