i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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