i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The air was thick with penises
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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