i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
