i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
