North Korea, Best Korea!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Boobs speak an international language.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
