wat bout pragnant strippers??
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
