whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize