this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
