Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
