tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
