mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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