i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize