She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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