Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize