your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
...so i touched it.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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