My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
