So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
