The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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