i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
