well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
