Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
this hospital has no fireball
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
