where am i from again
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
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I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
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Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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