We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
