I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
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