there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
