yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Semen is not good for contacts.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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