i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
