If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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