I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
