I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
