You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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