Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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