Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
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so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The Olympian is in my bed
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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