Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
