Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
