If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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