i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
