You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
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I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
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I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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