You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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