We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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