I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
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We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
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Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!