Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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