Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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