this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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