You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
