there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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