i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
