WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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