we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
