i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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